Happy Whistle Pig Day!
Seems the little bugger saw his shadow after all. Now we're in for umpteen more weeks of winter. My kids think that's great. They seem to equate winter with snow. I equate winter with "why he hell won't my toes thaw out?" Different strokes.
Is it fair to blame the lowly whistle pig? The ending of winter and the beginning of spring all hinges on them. Where do they get this kind of power? I mean, they're obviously not smart enough to alter the weather on their own. I've seen them roadside, in the wild, down in lower Boone County...you know, the sticks. They just sat there and stared at passing cars. They just aren't bright enough for weather manipulation.
So does that make them Mother Nature's dupes? They're the fall guys to cover her hiney when she decides to dump more cold and cold on us? Someone's got to be the blame, so why not those pudgy little rodents? Is that it?
There are, of course, wilder and more conspiratorial theories, but you already know those, right? Of course not!! If you did, you'd have been disappeared by the black helicopters and Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones. At the very least, you'd have been reprogrammed. Take my word for this, it can be done. I've read about it! You know, on the interweb! The source of all truth and goodness!
I...I....um...where was I?
Oh yes, the varmints. Someone must be to blame. Might as well be the varmints.
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I think your talent is wasted in your current position!
ReplyDeleteIs there someone who would pay me for being inane?
ReplyDelete"Lowly whistle pigs?" No way--they are one of my favorite critters of all time--so fat and roly-poly! I love 'em! And just for the record, we have them in that gleaming, futuristic metropolis, Highland Heights! Mother and babes can be found in the spring frolicking in the grass alongside the road to our cul-de-sac!
ReplyDeleteA smart little whistle pig in my backyard!
ReplyDeleteYou are so lucky! Native American lore has it that if you are visited by a whistle pig at your dwelling, you may expect to be favored by the gods, or at the very least hit the payline on their favored slot machine in the casino.
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